Pregnant With Baby Number 2

Thursday, 8 October 2015

My attitude towards being pregnant with baby number 2 is completely different to my first.  I guess that’s pretty normal, as I have already experienced child carrying and childbirth.  I have experienced similar symptoms in my first pregnancy, extreme morning sickness that lasted 5 months, loosing lots of weight (2 stone) and looking slimmer throughout my pregnancy than I do without a child in my belly (from week 9 to week 28).

However, looking after an existing child while being pregnant has been challenging, limiting, and exhausting.  Things will be different this time round. Baby number 2 will learn that unlike their older sibling, they will not be the centre of the entire world and (bless them) will have to fit into the existing chaos.

I’ve been so busy with my 4 year old, I have missed midwife appointments, had to think hard what gestational week I am in and often forgotten I was pregnant (for a moment).  Through all of this however, my excitement for my new baby is so deep that I let it come to the surface every now and then and then I have to shove it back down again because its so scary and precious.  I love little babies and I am in awe that I have one inside of me. 

Having done motherhood once already, here is a list of things I have learned second time around.

Embrace every season.
When I wasn't pregnant I missed having a bump but when I was pregnant the first time around I couldn't wait for my son to be born.  I don’t plan on having anymore so I will try and embrace this special time.

I will not feel guilty buying new and expensive baby things.
I use a lot of second-hand clothes and products but if I choose to buy an expensive nappy bag, item of clothing or buggy (we are using our four year old buggy but if I had the money I would buy a brand new one), I will not feel guilty doing so.

(Here is our four year old buggy washed down and updated with new parts from Bugaboo and a new hood on sale for £18 from John Lewis I feel pleased it looks good for the new baby but if I had  that spare £500 I would get a new one).

I will rely on my gut instinct on what feels right for me rather than what other mothers tell me what to do.
Everyone has an opinion, some useful and some not.  I wish I went with my gut more the first time, as most of the time I knew what was right for my baby and me.

I will start a healthy eating plan right away (even during pregnancy).
When I had my first child, the midwife advised me to eat cake 2-3 times a day to ensure I had enough calories to produce breast milk.  The result; I gained 2 stone, developed a sugar addiction, and didn't feel like myself emotionally, mentally and physically.

I will sleep when the baby is sleeping instead of catching up on social media or housework.
Being sleep deprived is no joke. Taking rest should be a priority as it is the answer to so many problems

I will not compare my baby's development with other babies their age.
Having raised a 4-year-old child so far and witnessed all the challenges he has conquered and milestones he has achieved.  Worrying whether baby number 2 will be able to roll on their tummy just like the other babies their age at a mother and baby group is so irrelevant.

I will try so hard, so bloody hard, not to loose myself.
I will try not to loose myself by eating unhealthy food and neglecting my marriage, friendships and interests.  Having a new baby does make all aspects of your life challenging and I DO believe there is a season when nothing else matters other than your baby.  However, it took me three years after the birth of my first child to get a sense of who I am.  No doubt having 2 children will change me. That is part of self-development. Nevertheless, I really don't want to loose myself completely and then go through a long process to get the essence of me back again.

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