Choosing To Be Happy in 2017

Tuesday, 7 February 2017

As long as I can remember I have started each new year motivated and driven to achieve many goals. After the first few weeks of January I burn out, lack confidence and secretly dislike myself that I can't get my act together unlike so many others who go on to succeed.  Last year, I heard a talk about finding success in 2017 and the speaker posed a question; identify why you didn't achieve your goals and understand what you need to do differently to achieve them.  I did just that and I have taken it one step further, I looked at my attitude to everything in my life and have approached 2017 differently. It's February and for once, I feel relaxed and happy.  Below is a list of the things I have learned from last year that has helped me feel happy and hopeful.

The size of my waist doesn't equate to my value as a human or my happiness
This has been a tough one to believe but the statement is true.  I'm more than the size of my waistline.  Yes it's a little bigger than I want it to be right now and my clothes are quite tight at the moment. However, I'm an awesome person. I'm a devoted mummy, I grew humans inside me, I'm cultivating young minds and developing meaningful relationships. So what if my belly is a little big. It doesn't compromise who I am as a person. Late last year I went to an event and saw a lady in a hot leather dress.  She was a mum and her waistline was thick and she looked so gorgeous, stylish, and so confident.  To me, she was the hottest women in the room.

I'm going to work on 3 projects not 20 all at once

I'm someone who has great ideas but I try to do too much too soon and then burn out with nothing to show for it. So I'm only taking on 3 projects this year and will add more once they have been achieved.

I'm not going sugar, meat or dairy free
I've tried to be a vegan and sugar free but I simply love all food too much.  I will however, cut down on refined sugar consumption because I feel so much better when I'm having less. However, gone are the month long sugar fasts that keep me thinking constantly about sugar and then I crumble and eat a month worth of sugar in one day when I indulge. Plus I'm happy to not be tied to a 'label' I enjoy discovering and cooking vegan recipes and eating raw but I'm not going to beat myself up that I ate a steak and a cheesecake too.

I'm going to sort myself out before I focus on saving all my friends and the rest of the world
I'm a massive encourager and find it easy to be in the company of others as their counsellor.  I give but rarely  take my advice for myself. I'm focusing on what I need to do in my life rather than focusing on what is happening to others.

I no longer compare myself to other people
Comparing yourself to others is self destructive.  I have been committing this act far too long and this year I'm fighting hard against this negative thought process. I will not compare myself to what other people my age or younger are achieving, the number of followers others have on Instagram, houses, marriages, waistlines and friendships.  I am who I am on my journey.

I'm grateful for my family
I think I took what I had for granted but recently I'm appreciating my entire family. Even though things get difficult, family however big or small is a blessing and more important than most things in life.

The problem is not with my husband, it's with me
As a stay at home mama with limitations I used to focus on what my husband should be to make me happy. However it was brought to my attention that instead of trying to change my husband into this adventurous go getter who fulfils my every need, I need to focus on my own personal ambitions to find fulfilment.  No one is perfect but my husband is right where he needs to be. I'm adventurous and crazy and he is steady and practical. It took me a while to realise that our differences complement each other. I need to fly and he can carry on building the runway for me to take off and land on.

I've created a coffee shop in my living room and will learn to make restaurant favourites at home
Eating out is great but costs too much. Last year I found £40-£50 restaurant bills too painful when that money could have contributed to a supermarket shop for the week. These days it feels so wonderful to learn and cook my restaurant favourites while the kids can roll around or sleep in the comfort of their home, all for a fraction of the restaurant price.  Also I recently bought a Dualit Milk Frother , some beautiful mugs from Emma Bridgewater and Habitat and I simply make my own lattes and cappuccinos'. Nowadays Im struggling to part with my £3.60 to buy a drink In a coffees shop when I know I can make it at home.

I'm listening to what I really need
Instead of being focused on what's cool and exciting. I've sat down and listened to my body and mind and realised that what I need is water, sleep, nourishing food and love.

I'm switching off my phone and sleeping during the night rather than looking at meaningless websites and Instagram stalking at 3am.

I'm accepting that for now, my primary role and duty is to be a mother
In 2016, I felt like I was just a 'mum' I felt angry that I was so limited and so exhausted to add extra commitments. But that is just where I'm at right now.

I'm learning to be powerful in relationships rather than passive.
I'm going to do a blog post about this one but last year I realised I need to love others as a gift rather than love others in order to get something in return.

I no longer care what people think of me
As long as I'm not hurting others, people need to take me as I am or not at all. I'm done with moulding myself to the taste of someone's pallet so they can digest me well.  Take me on or don't.  It's ok to not be everybody's cup of tea.

My life is a journey and I am learning all the time.
It's ok to try out and see what works and what doesn't. As long as I'm alive I'm on a journey of potential.

Can you identify with any of these too? Have you learned lessons from last year that you have brought into 2017?

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